When I thought everything was going smoothly, I discovered it was not.
You know, I was practicing zazen daily, going out in my bicycle, working on my degree paper. But there were some things not really working.
My degree paper was something that gave me a headache. I was stock in my art work. I was not teaching any more. And, why not, a terrible pain suddenly appear: sciatica – the physician said.
I was not having a good time. But I have been in a process of spiritual growth and mental health. I was supposed to care for others and lead them to better living. I should of been fine.
A had to stop cycling. I wasn’t working at all. I was going crazy with my degree paper. I couldn’t wake up on time. I was not feeling well.
One night, feeling awful, but without pain, I sat on my meditation bench, close my eyes, and started breathing consciously. After a while, like a tenuous light, came a thought: sleep well, and when you wake up, do your zazen, go for a ride, and start again.
Next morning, at the sound of the alarm, I didn’t want to wake up, but I did. I went out of bed, did zazen, and got my bicycle for a ride. It’s incredible how a short ride can make me feel! I was happy, I was back again.
Everyone should explore inside, and find out what can make your life shine again. Some have some rituals to enhance their lives, others go to a special place, others take a walk into nature. I have zazen and my bicycle.