Chilli morning

I love this time of the year. I’m not good with hot summer days, I prefer autumn.

7 in the morning, ready to start a ride. It’s a little cold, around 10° C. I can feel the fresh air in my face while moving. I feel peace.

Maybe is true what I read recently, biking is like meditation (Mindful thoughts for cyclists). It’s a great way to start the day.

Detachment again.

Night ride to go with my friends to meditation. One of them would share with us her notes on death. And here, again, detachment shows up.

Why is do difficult to get rid of possessions? Do I really need them? I don’t want to answer, because I know I’m not going to like it.

So, action instead. I’ll start with my pipes. Let say that I give away half of them. Or, maybe, I only keep 5. Could I manage this?

I got on my bike again, pedaling back home. Thinking on detachment, and what pipes I could keep.

I may not do it today.

I’m tired, I didn’t have enough sleep, I have to leave now. I may not meditate this morning.

Some days, I skip my morning meditation. Somehow it’s very easy to find a reason. I mean, it’s not that often, but it happens. And it may happen with other things, like exercising, or end some chores.

I’ve decided to use a japa mala around my wrist. It reminds me of my purpose to change my habits, to meditate daily.

Some may say that it shouldn’t be necessary, if I was sure of my intention, or the way I have chosen. But it’s a process, and it requires an effort. So this little sign, the mala, keeps me on the path.

Riding after the rain.

It’s rain time in San Luis Potosí. I love the rain. I remember Mexico City in the rain. It could bring memories of my mother, taking me somewhere. Or walking in the rain with my friend Agustín.

But here, in San Luis, it doesn’t rain that much. So when it does, I feel happy.

Last Friday, it rained. It was dark when I got my bike and started riding, slowly. The air was fresh, and the smell that the rain brings is unique. I rode for some 30 minutes, with no aim but riding.

Those are great moments, when you can enjoy what you are doing, aware of what you’re feeling, living the moment.

Oh, no!

Decluttering, one of my tasks. This photo is from a studio corner. And like in this place, I really have to go over all that I have to accomplish what I want.

So I have been happy doing my homework. Happy to see how some places started to look better. Amazed to feel no guilt in giving away things that were here because “my father gave it to me”.

But a few days ago I went with my daughter to buy something for the office. After a “harsh” remark she said, I felt really bad, angry. How is it possible of her to say something in such a way?

I was mad at the moment. Even my wife asked me what was the problem. I started thinking of how that could be said to me, the father, the one who takes care of the family, the important one….and a veil disappeared. I could see, then, the problem: my big ego.

After some time, I realized that I shouldn’t feel that way. The problem was, in fact, how I felt.

Then I started to realized that, in several occasions, it was me who took it personal. I was the one that make simple remarks into something that made me angry.

It’s not that I don’t know that these things happen. But suddenly I could see my reaction. The way I took this remarks as offences, directed to me. But, definitely, it shouldn’t be that way.

So I discovered something else to deal with. An important one.

Now I smile, when remembering what happened. I know that, when something like this happens again, I might react the same way, but can’t stay angry again. I want to be conscious of what happens, and, with some practice, stop doing it.

So long….

It has been a long long time since I posted here.

On February 25th my father passed away. It is something that make the feelings move from one to another.

My father, The General, as one of my sisters use to call him. And that is because he was actually a General from the Mexican Army. A dedicated army man, an ingeneer that built schools for Mexico City Government, and appartements for soldiers. A devoted country man in his retirement, growing crops, breeding sheep and enjoying the peace of the country. A devoted husband and father.

I haven’t ride my bike for quite a time now. One knee was injured, just because. The years of Tae Kwon Do, many injuries, overweight, old age maybe, are to be blamed.

Two weeks ago I started riding again. Today I went shopping, and I rode my classic beauty, a Raleigh from the seventys. It’s nice to ride a bike with a lot of family history. My father bought it in 1976. Then, a niece had it for a time. Some years ago, my father got it back and gave it to me.

So today I’m back, riding and writing again.