Riding after the rain.

It’s rain time in San Luis Potosí. I love the rain. I remember Mexico City in the rain. It could bring memories of my mother, taking me somewhere. Or walking in the rain with my friend Agustín.

But here, in San Luis, it doesn’t rain that much. So when it does, I feel happy.

Last Friday, it rained. It was dark when I got my bike and started riding, slowly. The air was fresh, and the smell that the rain brings is unique. I rode for some 30 minutes, with no aim but riding.

Those are great moments, when you can enjoy what you are doing, aware of what you’re feeling, living the moment.

Oh, no!

Decluttering, one of my tasks. This photo is from a studio corner. And like in this place, I really have to go over all that I have to accomplish what I want.

So I have been happy doing my homework. Happy to see how some places started to look better. Amazed to feel no guilt in giving away things that were here because “my father gave it to me”.

But a few days ago I went with my daughter to buy something for the office. After a “harsh” remark she said, I felt really bad, angry. How is it possible of her to say something in such a way?

I was mad at the moment. Even my wife asked me what was the problem. I started thinking of how that could be said to me, the father, the one who takes care of the family, the important one….and a veil disappeared. I could see, then, the problem: my big ego.

After some time, I realized that I shouldn’t feel that way. The problem was, in fact, how I felt.

Then I started to realized that, in several occasions, it was me who took it personal. I was the one that make simple remarks into something that made me angry.

It’s not that I don’t know that these things happen. But suddenly I could see my reaction. The way I took this remarks as offences, directed to me. But, definitely, it shouldn’t be that way.

So I discovered something else to deal with. An important one.

Now I smile, when remembering what happened. I know that, when something like this happens again, I might react the same way, but can’t stay angry again. I want to be conscious of what happens, and, with some practice, stop doing it.

So long….

It has been a long long time since I posted here.

On February 25th my father passed away. It is something that make the feelings move from one to another.

My father, The General, as one of my sisters use to call him. And that is because he was actually a General from the Mexican Army. A dedicated army man, an ingeneer that built schools for Mexico City Government, and appartements for soldiers. A devoted country man in his retirement, growing crops, breeding sheep and enjoying the peace of the country. A devoted husband and father.

I haven’t ride my bike for quite a time now. One knee was injured, just because. The years of Tae Kwon Do, many injuries, overweight, old age maybe, are to be blamed.

Two weeks ago I started riding again. Today I went shopping, and I rode my classic beauty, a Raleigh from the seventys. It’s nice to ride a bike with a lot of family history. My father bought it in 1976. Then, a niece had it for a time. Some years ago, my father got it back and gave it to me.

So today I’m back, riding and writing again.

I want a new one!

It’s funny how, without really understanding why, I was looking for different models of bicycles. I was trying to find a new one.

And it happens the same with many of the things I have. Should I get a new tablet, a cellphone? It seems that we get in this continues desire for more, to replace what we have but is still working properly.

It happens with me when thinking on bicycles. There is one better. That one is more beautiful. The other folds in a smaller piece. But I have already

Today, I went out in my Raleigh Sprite. Its a bicycle from the 70’s. I like it, and has some history. Even though, I have kept on thinking of a new bicycle to replace it (a Temple bicycle, for example).

So I got out, pedaling my old Raleigh. It was a short ride. Short but very satisfying. The bike was running fine, without any noise. I was happy of taking out such a beauty.

Why I want to replace it? I like it and works well. And I thought, it’s just this stupid desire, this desease of wanting more.

The ride was a good medicine.

Winter solstice

Even though here the winter doesn’t look as cold and gray as in other places, the temperature drops, mornings are cold. So riding feels different. Also, since I’m on vacations, I have more time for thinking and be in the garden. It’s a time for family, and to be near some dear friends.

My father used to say to me to look back, and to foresee the year to come. And I tend to do so.

So I see a past year that was not that satisfying, and a new one with lots of creative work, and drawing, and prints. And many more kilometers on my bicycles!

Cheers!